Grandmama Addams (1992)
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Cartoon Animal |
Outfit: Shawl / skirt / old lady slippers / Bizarro Nanny's stockings / Skull from one of dead children from Dhalsim's village
Tagline: "Look into my crystal ball."
Plot summary: When I was really little, I thought the theme song went "They're creepy and their cookie," and the singers just had a Bizarro New York accent that was the opposite of when Yogi Berra said "roof." So not only would I miss all the morbid jokes that go over a four-year-old's head, but I'd also get frustrated from not knowing whose cookie they were talking about, and why no one was eating any cookies. Including me, so then I'd get hungry.
By the time the Addams Family movie came out, I was ten years old and realized that "kooky" was a nonsense adjective describing the Addamses' strange fondness for death and defying it. But despite that passion for the macabre, they still loved and cared for each other as much as, or perhaps moreso than the all-American nuclear family they were created to parody. For this, the Addams Family will always hold a special place in my heart. It taught me not only to not fear death, but that I can embrace it as part of life and still be a passionate human being. It didn't make me go entirely goth, but I do blame it indirectly for my preference for black shirts, my love for making awful jokes at the expense of dead celebrities, and my opinion that the Last Dance is actually a good band for listening to. So thank you, Addams Family, for saving me and my parents years of awkward therapy.
Yeah, I'm only a little bit ooky. But if some motherfucker in the creative department decides that kooky's a sometimes adjective, I swear to God I'll get Pugsley to help me make a Rube Goldberg-esque contraption that ends with Mr. or Ms. Ambitious Go-Getter's head being chopped off by a steak knife or a bowling ball.
Kick and they slap a friend. (more)
User comments: A largely overlooked character in other instances of the Addams Family, Grandmama stands out in the post-movie cash-in cartoon of the early '90s for three reasons. First, she's voiced by the equally ancient Carol Channing, who despite looking like she was killed off by Jack Nicholson as the Joker for the last 139 years, is still alive. Second, Grandmama's ability to totally dunk on you helped her win the NBA Rookie of the Year award during the show's first season. Lastly, she's notable for her crystal ball level of Pugsley's Scavenger Hunt for the Super Nintendo, where she WON'T. STOP. STARING AT ME.
Pugsley's Scavenger Hunt is the hardest video game ever marketed to children. Fuck you; I can beat Mario 1 in five and a half minutes, but Grandmama's sheepish grin is indirectly responsible for making me break no less than three controllers. If the Jehovah's Witnesses end up being right and I go to hell when I die, my eternal punishment is going to be a pixel drawing of Grandmama Addams staring at me while I get stabbed by a bunch of spears that I clearly jumped over YOU STUPID GAME I HATE YOU.
A geneologist's worst nightmare, Grandmama's relation to the clan varied between the shows and movies. Hell, the only thing Wikipedia can get straight was that she started out as Gomez's mother in the original, black and white sitcom, and became Morticia's mother in the '70s cartoon. In this '90s cartoon, Grandmama has been referred to with both the Addams surname and Morticia's maiden name, Frump. So either the writers went to the same cartoon-making school as the guys who sometimes accidentally made Superman's lips move when Black Vulcan was talking, or Grandmama is an ugly knot in the already twisted Addams family tree.
What, you thought I made a spelling mistake & was going to describe her cobweb-laced vagina? Come on, man. People read this on their lunch breaks.
User Rating: 
(10 votes)