Foofur (1986)
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Cartoon Animal |
Outfit: Dog collar / Blue fur / Or "Bloofur," I guess
Tagline: "I drew the dog blue, because I've never seen a blue dog before, and I wanted to see one."
Plot summary: Architects in cartoons from the 1980s only knew how to build two different models of building that fit the description "rich person's house." So every cartoon character of privilege either lived in the White House or next door to Alvin and the Chipmunks. Among the latter was a mansion left to Foofur the dog by his deceased master, whom I assume got rich breeding animals and successfully got Clifford the Big Red Dog to fuck Smurfette.
Feeling lonely, Foofur hops on a stray skateboard and rescues his normal-colored canine friends and a cat trained in karate but apparently not enough to avoid being arrested from the local pound, Bowser's Busters. And the entire cartoon consists of Foofur saying something laid back and hip like in his Meatwad with a cold and puberty voice, then falling asleep while his friends hang out in the mansion and occasionally prevent the executor of Foofur's master's will, Miss Escrow (a funny joke that certainly every eight-year-old can appreciate!), from selling the place. Because nobody had the forethought in 1986 that things get really boring and non-adventurey after you've already rescued everyone from Bowser. (more)
User comments: Who the hell ever watched Foofur? It was on at 11:30 on Saturday morning, the perfect time to air something boring enough to make me want to walk away from my television and get fucking dressed. And I know nobody watched Foofur when he started writing for Whatever-Dude.com, because everyone only cared about B and B was gone.
Foofur did, however, change the life of one unfortunate man. True story: In 1996, college student Aleck Zavalis, whose name sounds like a Sesame Street parody of Kojak, was so inspired by Foofur and Foofur's lazy, laid-back disposition, that he got drunk one night and attempted to spell the name "Foofur" on the University of Illinois Fighting Illini football field in LIGHTER FLUID and SETTING THE ASTROTURF ON FIRE. Zavalis had a dream to convey a fiery message to the masses. He could've said anything with that. He could've said "I HEART NICOLE" or drawn the shape of a penis, but instead, he decided to tell the world that FOOFUR. Or more accurately just FOO, because his important message of inspiration and hellfire was cut short by police, and the court decision Nationwide Insurance v. Board of Trustees of the University of Illinois ruled that (a) Zavalis' insurance company was not liable for their clients being fucking morons, and (b) this is a direct quote: "Foofur may be the most vapid program in the history of Saturday morning animation."
So what's Aleck Zavalis doing now? Why, developing web sites for law firms in Philadelphia, of course!
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User Rating: 
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