Cartoon
Scooby-Doo Where Are You?

Animal
scheming old man probably
yep

Outfit: hypercolor diving suit / seaweed / a prepared list of jokes about drugs and sex

Tagline: The trademark Scooby-Doo villain "two arms up," slow, and menacing Pale Man reach, when reaching out with one arm would probably be quicker and more effective. Even the robots were programmed to walk around like that.

Plot summary: The Scooby Gang seemed self-aware enough sometimes to cut it out with the haunted housing and head to the beach for some fun and elaborate sandwich construction. But a few minutes into the falling-into-shit-for-luck-and-profit fun, Rocky Point Beach is terrorized by the ghostly figure of a man in a diving suit who materializes out of the surf, then vanishes. Instead of just going, "oh, there is somebody else at this beach," the Gang digs deeper, uncovering a NEFARIOUS PLOT: expensive yachts have been disappearing from the local marina, and the malfeasance is being blamed on Captain Cutler, the dead sea captain whose boat was rammed and sunk by just such a yacht.

Velma, Shaggy and Scooby go to the local amusement park and start trying to tear off peoples faces while Fred and Daphne blame everyone in the area they meet (the Widow Cutler, Ebenezer Shark, a wandering Tim Conway) until the predictable happens, and teenagers begin falling down conveniently to knock crap over and force a series of logical conclusions. The ghost of Captain Cutler is actually Cutler himself, wearing an old-timey diving suit and standing next to a NO FISHING sign at the bottom of your fish tank. (more)

User Comments: but really who would want to go fishing at the bottom of a fish tank, it's usually a pretty small tank and the only fish you'd be able to catch are the ones you'd have already paid for, and you could just reach in there with that green net or your hand if you wanted to catch them

Anyway, Cutler's plot involved luring yachts to their doom to repaint them and resell them to the marina for profit. Why he needed "profit" when he had already financed an undersea cave, a submarine, and a bunch of well-maintined show-galleons is a mystery. Also a mystery is why he decided it was a good idea to lure people with boats into a cave, but scare away other people who had no boat and risk exposure, but I guess that's why he's a Scooby-Doo villain being foiled by hippie putzes. Although it's not really his fault when Velma goes school-saiyan and reads hiroglyphics and figures out you're a dude in a suit by cross-referencing a biology textbook with your Spencer Gifts sex wig.

hey velma if you're so smart why does your book open up the wrong way

User Rating: 5.0/10 (1 mysterious vote)