Cartoon
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures

Animal
The Great Bambino
The Sultan of Swat
The King of Crash
The Colossus of Clout
The Wali of Wallop
The Wazir of Wham
The Maharajah of Mash
The Rajah of Rap
The Caliph of Clout
The Behemoth of Bust
The Proud Owner of Pow
The Legal Guardian of Baseball's Home Run Play

Outfit: pinstripes / house that he built / alcoholism

Tagline:  "Cobb is a prick. And he also loves.... baseball!"

Plot summary:  When you want to make a "Bill and Ted" cartoon and are aware that the central conflict of the movie was "will or won't they pass history class," sending the duo on further time-traveling quests can be a fruitless and difficult endeavor.  You're on Saturday mornings so you can't do anything ACTUALLY interesting like sending them back to the time of Jesus to question the validity of organized religion.  Usually you just have to write "today we are going back in time to _______" at the top of your script paper and fill in the blank.  And evidently you have to get Al Hirschfeld to draw it for you.  Check out Bill in the picture up there.  He looks like Disney's fucking Hercules.

The crux of this story is that Bill and Ted accidentally wash the signature off of their gym coach's autographed Babe Ruth baseball.  Remember that he was a famous Yankee they travel back in time to the Civil War, meet Abner Doubleday, inadvertently CREATE baseball, and then (I'm not kidding here) meet Harriet Tubman and INSPIRE HER TO CREATE THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD.  My immediate reaction is to obviously go "HAT THE SHIT" and get all awkwardly offended, but then I remember that they also run into Dracula in the episode (again, I'm not kidding) so I have to just shake my head in disbelief until my eyes turn into ovular jellybeans.  At least they didn't go back in time and create black people.  God did that because he was mad about Noah's kid checking Noah out while he was naked and drunk in a tent.   Thanks a lot, Canaan, without your incestuous homo ass we would've never gotten Avery Brooks or his constant and awesome hyper-enunciated dignity-speak.

Heh, I can't believe I went to church for as long as I did. (more)

User Comments:  Despite looking like he should simultaneously hang above a Dean Martin roast and battle alongside the Justice League Unlimited, Babe does a good job of looking like George Herman without violating those pesky image rights laws that made every baseball player in the history of macaroni and cheese box baseball cards look like they played for the Anywhere Blue Hats.

The bad part about this episode is its title:  "This Babe Ruth Babe is a Dude, Dude!"  I don't care if they can't distinguish George Washington from Captain Ahab, I refuse to believe that any cognizant adult male would think that Babe Ruth was a woman.  That goes past Code-Man Lambert blissful ignorance and straight into "Things That Have Happened Since I Collapsed In The Woods And Then Flew with the Navigator."  You have to be fucking displaced and have sections of your brain missing to be aware that penis interlocks with vagina and think this would work between you and Babe Ruth.  I'd like to see Ken Burns and a 90 year old Negro Leaguer try to make THAT sound compelling and important.

User Rating: 7.7/10 (1,927 votes)