This year, we create ... a revolution? Yeah, probably a revolution.
Saturday, September 27, will be the day of the DORITOS LOCOS TACO THROWDOWN OH-FOURTEEN, or #DoLoThroDo14, for the social media-inclined among you. This is the day of the year that all of us -- no matter our location, age, or religion -- will be united via the Internet and our love of tacos/doing stupid things.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it: eat as many Doritos Locos tacos as you can in one hour. Sound simple enough? It has undone the strongest people I know.
THE RULES, IF YOU DO NOT KNOW THEM:
What: DORITOS LOCOS THROWDOWN OH-FOURTEEN
When: Saturday, September 27, from 10 a.m. PT - 12 a.m. PT
Where: The Internet
The Rules: AT ANY TIME within the time parameters listed above, when you first begin eating tacos (FROM THE TIME OF YOUR FIRST BITE), you have ONE HOUR to see how many Doritos Locos Tacos you can consume. When time's up, you're done. Partial tacos must be counted as partial tacos. YOU MUST PROVIDE PROOF, whether it be an Instagram of your discarded taco sleeves, step-by-step Twitpics of your journey, Vines, live streaming video, whatever. We encourage as much documentation as possible.
PLEASE REMEMBER NOT TO ORDER "SUPREME" DORITOS LOCOS TACOS. WE ARE NOT MANIACS.
Both Twitter and this post are the two official places for you to post said documentation. If posting proof on Twitter, you must tweet said proof to either @sundownmotel or @sorryeveryone and use the hashtag #DoLoThroDo14. If posting proof in the comments below, just go crazy. We trust you.
THE LOCATION, IF YOU LIVE IN THE LOS ANGELES AREA:
Pete and I (and other special guests) will be at the Taco Bell in Glendale, CA, located at 932 S Central. It is across from a Games Workshop and a Starbucks, if you want to paint Warhammer 40K miniatures and drink Frappuccinos afterward. You are only human, so this would be understandable. If you would like to join and compete with us, we will be there at 1 p.m., PT. The more, the merrier/more miserable.
SUPERHEAVYWEIGHT DIVISION (FIERY/FLAMAS TACOS): Woodford, whose consumption of 20 Fiery DoLos was documented by @J_Nerderman. This American hero wore an American flag, which almost certainly assisted in the victory.
HEAVYWEIGHT DIVISION (NACHO CHEESE TACOS): Friend of the program @Leroy_Pitts, who made extensive Vines and showed extensive nipple while tackling (taco term) 20 DoLos.
MIDDLEWEIGHT DIVISION (A MIXTURE OF TYPES OF TACO): Last year's co-champion @PhilKenSaban, who ate the most tacos of ANYONE in an hour, with 21 Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch DoLos.
CRUISERWEIGHT DIVISION (COOL RANCH TACOS): A dark horse snuck in just under the wire, as @RoommateShits(surely a prophetic handle) squeezed in 17 DoLos (besting the previous mark of 16) as the clock ran out on the day.
VEGAN DIVISION (FREESTYLE): Another friend of the program, @teen_archer, blazed his own dairy-and-meat-free trail, as he purchased 11 crispy potato soft tacos (no cheese, no sauce), and managed to eat a whopping 11 flour tortillas wrapped around nothin' but tater. (lol butt-tater)
There you have it, everyone. We will see you on the Internet on the 27th. Start training now. And good luck.