**Online Host** You have entered a comfortable single-story house |
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BaseballWriter: /rapping typewriter with index fingers So I must ask, Mr. So-Called-All-Star, if you're such a great baseball player why won't your team even put you in the field to play defense? The designated hitter rule is ruining baseball and that's why I only watch the National League now, because they play ball the way it should be played: by committing extra outs to speed the game up. Stop wasting my MVP ballot space, Mr. Ortiz. I have enough bums sending me mail as it is. |
| **Online Host** A pile of mail has dropped through a slot in the door | |
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BaseballWriter: Speak of the bums. Let's see what we have here. |
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BaseballWriter: Credit card application /tosses in trash |
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BaseballWriter: Missing children notice /tosses in trash |
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BaseballWriter: Letter from Mother /tosses in trash |
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BaseballWriter: Ad for carnival taking place at local parking lot /places on desk |
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BaseballWriter: Ooo, jackpot! Hall of Fame balloting. I wonder who's on here this year. /opens |
| **Online Host** GwynnOrLose has entered the chat room | |
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GwynnOrLose: Hey there, sir! Just poppin' in to make sure you remember to bubble me in on that neat piece of paper you're holding. |
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BaseballWriter: You bet, Mr. Gwynn! You're the best natural lefty I've ever seen. You're my first pick. |
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GwynnOrLose: Cool! See ya! |
| **Online Host** GwynnOrLose has left the chat room | |
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BaseballWriter: What a great guy. Who else is on here. |
| **Online Host** CalJr2131 has entered the chat room | |
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CalJr2131: Hi. What've you got there? |
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BaseballWriter: Just filling out this year's Hall of Fame ballot, Cal. Looks like you're eligible this year, huh? |
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CalJr2131: Sure am. Are you going to vote for me? |
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BaseballWriter: Of course! You broke the most important record in all of sports. You're going on here right now. |
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CalJr2131: Terrific! Thanks. |
| **Online Host** CalJr2131 has left the chat room | |
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BaseballWriter: He certainly was friendly enough. This is turning out to be a refreshing experience. I hope all my picks are this easy. |
| **Online Host** Mark2Nite has blasted through the wall Kool-Aid Man style | |
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Mark2Nite: HA HA HAAA! Puny dry wall! /guzzles nonhomogeneous milky substance from Gatorade bottle |
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BaseballWriter: Jesus Christ! You scared me half to death. |
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Mark2Nite: Give me that. /swipes ballot |
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Mark2Nite: Whaaaat?! Tony Gwynn? That guy has like 100 career homeruns. And seriously, Cal Ripken Jr.? He's got a lower career OBP than Mark Bellhorn. You better be putting me on here too. |
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BaseballWriter: I don't think so. |
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Mark2Nite: I hit 70 goddamn homeruns in a one season! That's more than any two seasons combined between both of those two idiots. |
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BaseballWriter: But you cheated. |
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Mark2Nite: Well, uh, now that's not necessarily true. |
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BaseballWriter: Yes it is. It was very apparent even at the time of your record breaking, but the public drew a blind eye because it was exciting to watch. Accusations mustered and in front of a judge you whimpered like a broken man who's emotions have been permanently jaded by illegal enhancers. |
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Mark2Nite: But what about the homerun derby in '99? I hit a ball over the green monster! Haha that thing was a bomb! |
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BaseballWriter: Pokey Reese has hit a ball over the green monster. You're not even making sense any more. I think you should leave. |
| **Online Host** Mark2Nite has left the chat room | |
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BaseballWriter: The nerve of that guy. Sheesh. |
| **Online Host** YES_way_jose has entered the chat room | |
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BaseballWriter: Don't waste my time. |
| **Online Host** YES_way_jose has left the chat room |
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